Personally, I haven’t found one all-purpose answer. But, what seems to ring true for most situations is that you have to challenge yourself to do things that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. For me, this approach helps me wake up, calm down, and extend myself. In the past ten years I’ve noticed that physically challenging tasks are the ones that cause the most visceral fear reactions for me: seeing my fears, my seeming limitations, and questioning how I can go beyond what I think I can do. I often refer to my daughter as my personal trainer, because she convinces me to go for hikes and other outdoor adventures that force me outside of my comfort zone. When I go for a hike with her, it’s usually twice as long as my normal limit, and it often takes me over terrain that is more varied and challenging than I “like.” I’m not like an antelope jumping from rock to rock. I’m more like a turtle with a waddle, trying to climb a hill. I’ve learned to breathe through most of these adventures, when to take a break, and when to push on. I’ve also found that a moment of uncertainty or fear brings instant focus on the present. And the fear that grabs at me when I face the first physical challenge on the trail—well, I’ve often seen that fade and transform into a feeling of bravery and accomplishment. So, I recommend the uncomfortable as a way to learn to work with fear. It can be a physical challenge, as described above, or leaning into a relationship or an uncomfortable interpersonal space. As the Stranger in The Big Lebowski says, “Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes, well, he eats you. “ You don’t always win, in other words, but you learn as much from the mistakes as from the triumphs. And fear will always give you more chances on the path of life. To help get cozier with the uncomfortable, and even the downright fear-inducing parts of life, try this:
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Carolyn Gimian May 15, 2016
Christopher Willard November 30, 2016
