Mindfulness and compassion are two important qualities that increase our resilience. At this pivotal time in our world, we need to cultivate both. Mindfulness allows us to see things as they are and turn toward challenges. We can turn toward the uncertainty and difficult feelings around the US presidential election, we can turn toward the devastating truth of climate change, we can turn toward the pleasant and unpleasant with greater wisdom and thus freedom. Compassion is “being with” the suffering of oneself and the other with a fierce heart. Compassion in action has the ability to heal and transform oneself and thus the world into a place that takes the welfare of all beings into consideration. When is a time that you realized that you gave away your power? We have all had experiences where we spoke honestly about our feelings and needs and it was judged or dismissed—or even or worse, resulted in love and/or support taken away. Based on these experiences, some of us move into people-pleasing behaviors and often say yes or nothing at all, when we really want to say no. As a result, we don’t assert or claim what we authentically feel and need, and thus we give away our power. I found in the 10-day mindfulness and authenticity challenge I co-led this October that when we lead ourselves with greater authenticity we feel more empowered in our life. Here are two of the mindful inquiries we explored during the challenge: How do I give away my power?
When I listen to the critical and judgmental thoughts that disempower my worth, potential, and abilities. When I am going too fast. When I say yes, when I really mean no, or not yet. When I don’t listen to my feelings and needs. When I don’t stick up for myself and share my feelings and needs with others. When I am not taking good care of myself with exercise, meditation, nutrition, connection, sleep, self-care, etc.
How do I feel empowered?
When I slow down. When I ask for support. When I really listen and then take care and support my feelings and needs in action. When I share my truth in a kind and skillful way. When I claim my inherent good worth, kindness, and competence in the world. When I surround myself with people who love and accept me for me. When I spend time in nature. When I engage in healthy practices that nourish my mind, body, and heart like exercise, sleep, healthy food, connection, play, learning, and meditation. When I feel engaged in a community or group with a shared goal or intention. When I feel on purpose in my life. When I am creating. When I am helping others.
Daily Power Practice
When we feel more empowered, we have the capacity to better stand up for what we feel and need. Try this practice to feel powerful in all areas of your life: As you move into the rest of your day, come back to the wise and strong person that you are. Connect to this place in your belly and stand from this spot.
Finding Inner Strength
A few years ago, I was dating a man for several months, whom I deeply loved and had aspirations of a long-term future with. We came to a crossroads in our communication one challenging day and instead of him having the capacity to stay in the relationship and conversation with me, he shut down and left completely. No contact, no repair, no resolution, here is your stuff, gone. It was one of the most difficult experiences I have gone through and believe me I have had several in this lifetime, and expect to have more. Yet, his leaving didn’t break me, in fact it was a huge gift. I felt devastated at first and didn’t quite know how to surf this new and unexpected change. I was moving through the stages of grief and loss (denial, anger, bargaining, deep sadness, and acceptance). I feel thankful for having a strong mindfulness practice that enabled me to really turn toward and thus feel all my feelings. After about two months of daily tears and uncertainty, something shifted within me. I was practicing intense self-love, was claiming myself, my worth, and my life in a way that I had never done before. It was as if my “inner superhero” kicked in. My inner superhero is She-Ra. She exemplifies strength, femininity, sensuality, and a fierce heart. Her superpower is compassion. During that difficult period in my life, I had a phrase I said to myself daily: “Carley, I am 100% here for you no matter what.” When I could tap into my innate strength and wisdom, I felt empowered, worthy, loveable, and could do and be anything that I put time and attention to. From that day forward my life has blossomed into a deeply transformative and amazing path. What is your inner superhero saying? Here are some ideas from my inner She-Ra toolbox:
I am paid well just for being me I make things happen I am loveable, resilient, and supported I have everything I need right now I attract love and support easily
What we feed the mind, knowingly or unknowingly, deeply impacts how we orient to others, to the world, and to ourselves. If we don’t have the capacity to train the mind, we will be moving through the world unable to access our greatest potential and thus our greater power and well-being.
